Leopard, leather and lashings of gold: how to dress like a mob wife

Since time immemorial, the world has been obsessed with wives. Chaucer’s The Wife of Bath was an early entry into the canon. Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor soon followed suit. OG wifeguy Henry VIII collected six of them himself (his dying breaths consisting of several pleas for one more wife, I assume). Films and TV have bombarded us too, with Stepford Wives, The First Wives Club, and Footballers Wives all making indelible marks on the culture. Even on the internet, you’re either a tradwife, a curvy wife, wife material, or maybe you just can’t escape the Real Housewives memes on your timeline.

If you’re a woman who’s sick of being defined in relation to the man you could one day possibly marry, then you’ve come to the wrong place. That’s right. There’s a brand new wife in town. She wears expensive furs and her husband is naturally predisposed to fits of rage according to their therapist – introducing: the mob wife. Of course, she isn’t actually a new wife, just new to people on TikTok who think Scorsese is probably a type of pizza. On there, ‘Mob Wife Aesthetic’ has been trending for a minute – but why has this particular wife become the new avatar of our times? Are people ditching the coquette ribbons in favour of something more grown-up? Or has the temperature dropped and we all just fancy wearing big coats? Either way, proximity to crime never looked so sexy. If you’re dying to get involved, and not sure if you’d make the cut, we’ve got you covered with some very serious advice.

STEP 1: CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER

Every mob wife has to start somewhere. Before you begin fashioning a new self, you’ve got to perfect the moodboard, deciding what kind of wife you’re ultimately reaching for. Will it be Sharon Stone’s Ginger McKenna, whose enviable wardrobe – all baby blue leather sets and deafening prints – was a huge part of Casino’s draw? Or maybe it’s Michelle Pfeiffer’s stoney faced Elvira, no stranger to a sleek slip in De Palma’s Scarface? And while Goodfellas’ Karen Hill offered a more demure vision of the mafia spouse, it’s practically blasphemous to talk about mob wife fashion and not include The Sopranos women. Choose between matriarch Carmela, decked out in her velour sweatsuits, or the youthful Adriana, swamped in leopard and leather. Clearly there’s not just one type of mob wife, so which one are you?

STEP 2: GET READY TO DIG

Now you’ve nabbed your little lady, it’s time to start digging. While recent collections like Julien Dossena’s JPG couture dealt in mob wife aesthetics, you’ll need to go back even further to achieve the full mafiosa look. Head to Azzedine Alaïa’s AW91 show for inspiration, where he sent supers down the runway in slinky lace catsuits and leopard print corsets. Or head over to Tom Ford’s Saint Laurent era, where he populated his catwalk with an army of mob wives in the early aughts. And while D&G will always provide a plethora of Italo-inspo (check out the furs in Fall ‘05), it’s Galliano’s Dior AW00 show that takes the crown. A sensory assault of fur, leopard, denim and leather, it’s an iconic collection that’ll transform you into the wife you’ve always longed to be.

STEP 3: REMEMBER, FURS AREN’T EVERYTHING

By the looks of TikTok, you’d think the only items that make up the mob wife aesthetic is a big coat and sunnies. To this I say: beware of the big coat agenda. No one will have you spending money more than Big Big Coat. While outerwear is of course an important part of the mob wife handbook, don’t rest on your laurels and bet it all on fur. Remember, you can’t just chuck on a shearling teddy and call it a day – it’s what’s on the inside (of the coat) that counts. Think about what kind of mob wife you want to be (see: Step 1) and your coat game will follow. There’s a lot to consider so… Let’s compliment your look, not cover up your shame.

STEP 4: CLAW YOUR WAY OUT OF A SHALLOW GRAVE

This step is all about accessorising. For the mob wife, the clothes are only half the story. To be a bonafide mobster lady, you might choose to layer yourself in all manner of trinkets, treasures and bijouterie to let everyone know who’s boss. Also aim to pile your hair in a high pony, like Ginger McKenna, blow it all out like Adriana La Cerva, or go for a sleek-ass bob like Elvira Hancock. And if all that still isn’t your style, do not fear. The very least we’d recommend is a perpetually fresh set of square French tip acrylics à la Carmela Soprano, strong enough to dig you out of a shallow grave when the time arrives (if anything, the mob wife is eternally resourceful).

STEP 5: SEASONS CHANGE, BUT YOU SHOULDN’T

Now that you’ve settled on the mob wife aesthetic, that’s it for you. Sorry! Should’ve thought about that before. This isn’t one of those clean girl, strawberry girl trends you can just swap out when you feel – this is a way of life. Do you think actual mob wives can just wake up and one day and decide to leave? There’s a reason they call it ‘married to the mob’. You’re gonna stay in those crocodile print booties all year round and you’re gonna love it. When a new type of wife trend pops up in three days time, I’ll need you to show some mettle and resist. If you can’t do that, how are you going to hold up on the stand, forced to testify against your mobster hubby facing 50 years to life? Honestly, no one likes a rat.